ppd update.

it has been quite a few months since i started treatment for post partum depression.
and i am proud to say that i feel 'normal' and back to myself again,
but it wasn't easy to get to this point.
and some days are still challenging,
but who's aren't? life isn't perfect or easy.

before, i was seeing in black and gray.
now, i am seeing in color.
i am full of life again, finding my passions and drive.

in order to get better, i had to seek help. 
take medicine, get talk therapy, and get help around the house and
with my kids.
i physically and mentally could not manage daily tasks alone.
my anxiety was frightening and my thoughts were terrifying.

just like if i were to have an illness like cancer,
i had to take the time to seek help and 
heal. taking care of myself is number one 
so that i can be there and take care of my kids.

i remember the first day i did the dishes.
and today was the first day i vacuumed the house.
i don't even remember the last time i could do that.

i remember the spring, when my first visitor, my cousin casey,
came to visit. her being here really pushed me to get out and do things.
then my bff ellen and sister lexi came to visit and i got out and
did even more, and started to feel human again.

it became natural for me to have fun again.
to smile, laugh, play with and kiss my children.

if you or anyone you know may be suffering from ppd or depression in general,
get help or find them help. it is a very serious illness that needs to be addressed,
not brushed under the rug. 

you can get better, and the sun will shine again in your world.