9.10.2012

pregnancy after preemie & miscarriage.

you never know what a woman has gone through previously or even during her pregnancy, so what you say may not be okay to her.

10 weeks pregnant: Lyla on the left, and our angel baby on the right

last week i had to get some blood drawn and the nurse asked me when i was due... then proceeded to make these two comments: 'wow! you think you are going to make it that far?!' and 'is there only one baby in there?'

obviously this lady knows nothing about me, and i know nothing about her, but those comments made me a little upset. maybe i was a little hormonal and emotional that day, but still... and that's not the first time a stranger has said those exact or similar words to me.

12 weeks pregnant: Lyla on the left and Little Man on the right

being pregnant after having a preemie and a miscarriage makes that first comment extremely harsh. i so desperately want to have a full-term, take-home baby. every little thing makes me nervous, and i can never be more safe than sorry about anything going on.

and the second comment is funny because i just don't think people realize that:
1. every woman is different and has a different body, and 
2. every baby is different and has their growth spurts at different times. 
so you cannot judge by size. you never know what is going on.

women and their uteruses are not robots created from an assembly line...they are people created from god and every single one of us is different. every uterus may be different in shape or size or tilted in a different direction. and every baby is different in every way and may grow at different times. all of these factors can make a world of a difference in a woman's size while pregnant.

28 weeks pregnant with Lyla

not to mention, there is also amniotic fluid in there (which i happen to have a lot of). every woman has a different amount with every pregnancy. there's also a placenta and umbilical cord in there. not just a baby.

28 weeks pregnant with Little Man

i guess people don't take any of that into consideration though. and maybe people making comments like this have never been pregnant or have known people close enough to experience it with them, or never learned about it in school.

there have been two comments from other random strangers lately, that just made my day...one woman told me i looked GREAT, with much emphasis. honestly I didn't feel great, but to hear that made me feel much better for the rest of the day. and a couple of young girls checking me out at the grocery store were just so excited for me and asking if i felt the baby move. they were so sweet. it's those comments that really count.

it is extremely terrifying to be pregnant after having gone through what i have in my past pregnancies, and i am trying my hardest to take it one day at a time and cherish everything possible because what my body decides to do is out of my control.

this is the little man's story. and there is no way to know how it is going to go.


5 comments:

  1. Forza Morgan, vedrai che andrĂ  tutto bene, cerca di stare serena

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  2. I get those comments a lot and always see people staring. It makes me a little self conscious but I try not to let it get to me. Most people have no filter around a pregnant lady. I totally get your worry though. I've never had a preemie but I did have a mc a little after 7 weeks and you don't forget something like that when you are pregnant again.

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  3. Its true.. Every pregnancy is different.. all kids all different and grow at different rates.


    I'm your newest follower from the GFC blog hop!
    followme@ www.studentswife.com

    ReplyDelete
  4. So true, thanks for sharing. Funny, I just shared my birth story today too :) Following from the hop!

    http://thebees3.blogspot.com/

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  5. Thanks for sharing this post. I am new to infertility and its always nice reading other blogs about babies and such. I am a new follower thanks to the GFC Blog Hop. Feel free to follow back at www.southernnewlywed22.blogspot.com
    Looking forward to reading more of your blog!

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