feeling like a failure mom.

last night was one of those nights. i felt like a failure mom. all because i ruined dinner. i stood and cried in the kitchen. it seems so stupid, but i started to think of things like 'why can't i make a simple meal for my child' and 'i will never be that mom who has awesome food that will give lyla comfort when she wants a home-cooked meal.'

after all the stress and tears, i had to pick myself up and get something else together to eat. by the time it was done i didn't even want to eat. a warm shower and a big comfy t-shirt was calling my name. i did just that and left the kitchen a mess with a sink overflowing with dirty dishes. i got lyla in her pjs and in the car, and we went to get some ice cream.

after vegging out on the couch for a bit lyla and i read some books in bed, and snuggled and went to sleep early. i thought about the night and my feelings. i'm sure lack of sleep and pregnancy hormones played a role in my reaction over ruined dinner, but we can't always be perfect.

it seems like something happens when you become a mother. all of a sudden you want to be perfect and you want to do it all. but we are only human. mistakes happen. ruined dinners happen.

and what are we teaching our children by acting like we can do it all and be on top of everything all the time?

i feel it is a better lesson to teach them that we, too, make mistakes and are not perfect. we certainly try our best, but it doesn't always work out the way we want it to. and in that case we need to be able to 'go with the flow' and improvise.

it's okay to step out of the daily routine and do something different. that's when fun exciting adventures can happen.
it's okay to make mistakes. that's how we learn.
it's okay if dinner gets ruined. there's always a restaurant open.
it's okay to leave the dishes in the sink overnight. nothing will happen if they do.

our babies grow too fast. live in the moment.
and there's nothing wrong with a good cry. we all need it sometimes.